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By Ellen Ratner
I was born six years after the end of World War II. I grew up spending Memorial Day (or Decoration Day as it was called then) at the Cleveland, Ohio, cemetery with my mother. We carefully placed the flowers on the graves of my relatives and family friends, some of whom had served in world wars. We did not celebrate Memorial Day, we observed it by honoring our loved ones. The cemetery was full of families like mine who also spent the day in remembrance. There were no barbeques or Memorial Day sales – in fact, the stores were closed.

My mother took great pains to explain why we commemorated this day. She told me about our relatives who had served in the war. She told me about the sacrifices that they had made and that their families had made while at home. She told me about ration cards and that in "those days" it did not matter how much money you had, everyone sacrificed for the good of the country.

As I observe my 53rd Memorial Day, I cannot help but compare those days in the Cleveland cemetery to what has become just another three-day weekend. For most of us, Memorial Day's only distinction is that it kicks off the 121 days of summer.

Many suggested in the wake of Sept. 11, 2001, that we declare that day a national holiday. Those who opposed the gesture used the irreverence that we display toward Memorial Day as a reason not to make it a holiday. They feared that Sept. 11 would be another American three-day weekend with little relevance to the majority of us.

Some readers may think it is disingenuous for me to comment on Memorial Day because I openly speak out against the blanket use of war as a means to project America's power in the world. Somehow, those who support war – as the first option vs. the last – have convinced many of the perverted thought that "to oppose a war is to oppose those who must fight it."

We lost almost 50,000 Americans before we finally decided that we could not win the war in Vietnam. Five thousand of them died before anyone took notice enough to protest their loss. I think regardless of one's political affiliation, we owe it to the men and women in harm's way to continue to demand accountability from our government before, during and after sending them into danger.

Our nation was not accountable to the families of Vietnam. Their grief is still palpable. It can be understood in the letters they place on Memorial Day at the base of the Vietnam Memorial where their loved one's name is etched for eternity.

I doubt that in writing this column, I can restore Memorial Day to its rightful place of reverence and remembrance. But it is my hope that our nation honors the fallen by embracing its responsibility to those who are in harm's way on this Memorial Day. My way of honoring their sacrifice is to continue to hold this government accountable for their welfare abroad and at home.